LET'S get one thing straight. You will not be able to take on Prince Charles and his boys after the Polo. Experience at the Dubai Polo and Equestrian Club. But, quite unbelievably, after just three hours of great fun and near-hysterical laughter, you will be able to say you have played a few chukkas.

This is a taste of the lifestyle you would normally only read about in the pages of OK! but, more importantly, an opportunity to do something unique with your friends and family.

Certainly our polo team was more Royle than Royal and ranged from someone who had played the game in the distant past to someone who thought they might have sat on a horse as a kid.

Of course you have to walk before you can canter, and that is where Steve Thompson comes in.

His teaching style is not for the oversensitive, but somewhere between the rapid-fire banter and talk of horses having a mental breakdown, the lessons are learnt.

We go from walking in something resembling a circle to moving at something resembling a canter.

Next up is hitting practice, giving Steve yet more opportunity to take the mickey, because those balls that are actually struck fly off in no discernable direction. After a short break and an even shorter rundown of the rules (apparently we don't look the type to follow them anyway), it's time for the big game. Sure enough, the little we know about the rules is largely ignored, as we all mass around the ball in the manner of a children's football game.

However, the enthusiasm and competitiveness are pure Premier League, and there is a moment of sporting greatness.

John's pass splits the defence and as I gallop through the opposition there is just enough time to angle a shot into the goal.

The pictures would probably tell a different tale but I'm staying with my story and memories of a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

GETTING THERE: Virgin Atlantic (08705 747747/ www. virginatlantic. com) offers return flights from Heathrow from £248.

Park Hyatt Dubai (0845 8881234/ www. hyatt. com) offers doubles from £181 per night (two sharing).

A three-hour Polo Experience at Dubai Polo and Equestrian Club (07798 725725/www. dubaipoloacademy.
 com) for a group of eight or more costs from £130pp.

Dubai Tourism: 020 7839 0580/ www. dubaitourism. ae.